Why do I feel so passionate about gathering for meal time? That’s a good question I have asked myself again and again. I’ve also asked myself:
Is it really worth the effort it takes to GATHER?
What are the benefits?
How can a regular family meal time help in today’s world?
Well, I have found many answers from books, research studies, and even MORE answers from my own experiences in gathering my 5 young boys for dinner (or breakfast) as often as I can.
When I was young, my mom cooked dinner for my family nearly every night of the week. Fridays and Saturdays she was “off cooking duty” and it was usually Little Caesars Pizza or leftovers. But on Sunday it was the big dinner we all looked forward to after church: roast and potatoes, corn and jello, and orange juice….can you get any better than that???
I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s so we didn’t have the distraction of cell phones and endless online entertainment that pull kids attention away so easily now days. We would sit at the table and talk; face to face, eye to eye. It wasn’t always profound conversation and usually not longer than 15-20 min (except for Sunday dinners where we talked longer with extended family). But it was a regular routine and one that I didn’t know I was benefitting so much from.
I took for granted how meaningful and precious that face to face time is with your loved ones. It is necessary and fading in today’s busy world.
When I got married and left my home to start my own family, I realized I missed those regular meal times where I knew I’d get to talk to at least a few of my siblings and my mom and dad. It was fun to start cooking for and with my husband and do simple dinners for he and I. To start over in the traditions our own parents had begun.
Most Sundays we still got together with one of our families (because they are both local!) and enjoyed a wonderful meal and even better company. That tradition has been an ANCHOR for me in my life. I knew I wanted to provide that for my future children and family.
There is plenty of research (I will share in a later post) that confirms the amazing and positive benefits of family meal times. I believe the number one benefit is CONNECTION. I follow and believe in the work of developmental psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld. He talks at length about child/parent connection and shifting the strongest bonds of children from their peers to their parents. I wish I could talk about everything he has taught me about relationships but I will just start by sharing this online seminar he presented (for free). It’s a truly amazing resource and a beautiful place to start learning about the child/parent connection and how to strengthen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlMkWJY5T_w
I firmly believe the adults from my generation (80’s and 90’s) are the “links” to show children that they need human interaction and connection and time away from their phones to make it happen. That is what Meal time can be! It is my hope on this journey, I can share with you facts, tips and encouragement to make meal time a more regular event in your home. To help strengthen family relationships and provide an anchor for your children in an ever changing, chaotic world.
Whether it be breakfast or dinner, taking the time to make a simple meal and having the courage to gather you family each day for just a short time will provide huge benefits to them and you in the long run. Let’s begin the journey!
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